Translation

Sometimes, I have a hard time with compliments. As much as I'm beginning to understand artists and how they deal with their insecurities, I remember we all have the same needs. Compliments confuse me because they are so dangerous. I want your compliments as a reader, to be honest I desperately seek your approval and your warm open arms, but I know I don't need them. If you see my work and it makes you smile, it makes my day because I made it for you. If you tell me how great my work is, how beautiful and pretty and "awesome" it is, it doesn't mean much to me. Those compliments, though I truly appreciate the heart of what you are trying to do, leave me saturated and fat with my own ego. If I become comfortable, I'll be come "satisfied" and if I become satisfied, I'm afraid I'll die as an artist. Words can be lethal.

On the other hand, contributions mean the world to me. When I see you smile, it makes my day. When I feel you smile, it makes my week. When you tell me why you smiled, when you tell me what I did, in my small isolated existence, that made you smile, you bring me pure passion and joy. I want to know you and my work is for you. I give my art to you and make it available for you because I want to understand you. I want your love and respect, but more I want to be able to love and respect you and your brilliance. If you won't let me know you, I can never love you. If you don't let me love you, you'll be alone. Maybe that's what you want, but if you think that's true, I submit that you are lost without an identity and hope you will discover it before you become invisible.

Compliments are difficult. One artist might weep at a work of art, one might cry a single tear, and third may smile. Emotion is beautiful. Share your emotion with me, if I stir you, tell me how, don't thank me. I don't need your thanks, because I should be thanking you for allowing me the opportunity. Don't thank me, just let me love you because that's the greatest appreciation you can truly show me. That's what I want most.

I want to lead you step by step to becoming an artist if you aren't one, but I find that the path is quite different for each individual. I'm beginning to lose hope in my ability to "lead" you, but I believe I want to shepherd you instead. I will continue to expose myself, for a time, in hopes that some will understand before I post my art. I suppose the lesson here is to know yourself and your identity. Understand embarrassment with it's shallow limitations. Know who you are, find that artist in isolation. Don't be afraid of the other artists, embrace them and encourage them. Tell them what you love about them in your language, but also try to tell them in theirs. If we don't try to step outside of ourselves once in awhile, I don't think we are any better than the others trying to destroy our creations and set fire to our open fields.

A good attempt at communication is a valid compliment.